Chibi Psychology
by Youkai Of Hearts
Summary: Oneshot: Our poor Protagonist..what will this resolve in? One of many sequals to Chibi Holiday...for teens and above for un acceptable language and Chibiness so for the love of god save the Children.


**Chibi Psychology**

**Chibi Psychology**

Right today I'm going to do a little bit of Psychology today…so I'll know what makes them tick. Very original I know…but you'll see why I'm doing this later on…

Sit on chair look over to the other side of the table…look at little grumpy chibi, sigh take out a piece of paper with many black spots over lapping each other which make an image. Raise paper to Chibi level.

"Tell me the first thing that comes to your head when you look at this drawing?" Little Sanzo looks up…

"Cigarette…" Right…raise another piece of paper, let Sanzo observe it

"Gojyo cuddling your leg" Kay, now raise another one.

"Broccoli" weird, raises another

"Mittens" Oh that's sweat, show next one

"Mittens with a ball of wool" Cute, next one

"Mittens with a pretty bow" Hmmm is it just me or did he just say Mittens three times. Next one.

"Mittens and me" Okay…next one

"Mittens and a mouse toy" All of a sudden it seems to me that he really likes kittens.

"Mittens eating a mouse…" Oh dear…Next one.

"Me wearing a hockey mask and terrorizing chibi's with my fan of doom" At least it's not Mittens anymore.

"I am now ruler of the world" ……No comment.

"You are my slave…" …with holding comment.

"This looks like you…" he picks up a page with many black dots and shows it to me.

"An idiot who doesn't know what the hell why I came out of your awful wardrobe and torture your miserable life…I'm the only thing that makes your pathetic life interesting anymore…so can we just stop this stupid thing and go get a bite to eat!"

Just makes me wonder is there any laws to commit suicide without a permit.

**Now we go onto Gojyo**

"Right Gojyo, tell me the first thing that comes into your head when I show you this" I raise the page with black dots again.

Gojyo looks at it "Sex" kay next one.

"Sex" alright…is it possible for the person to say it twice? Next one

"Woman with short breasts" with holding comment. Next one

"Medium breasts" still with holding.

"Large breasts" Next one…where's the next page. I look over to see Gojyo with the other page as he turns it over and smirks happily.

"I see you giving me a hug" Awww.

"Aww how cute…" I take the page off him and then raised the next page. I see an expression on his face. I look at him and narrowed my eyes.

"What is it Gojyo?" He replies in a babyish voice.

"Mwe want a hug…nwow!" His eyes get big and sparkly ready to let them loose. I look at him horrified and scared. Oh god no. I bring out a book that was written by a person who experienced the same thing I did but sadly he was hauled away by people in white coats and was sent to an eternity of Limbo.

I scan a certain page:-

_Chibi's are suppose to get a hug once every five seconds, failure to do so results in 'Chibi Attack' as they use their tears as gun bullets and launch them selves at you dressed in ballerina costumes or worse the fairy costume._

I look back and then to my horror I see Gojyo wearing a fairy costume including the little magic wand and crown. Along with the wings on his back with a sly look on his face. He jumps towards me.

"_HUG ME!_" Right now to do operation

_RUN AWAY!_

**Now Goku**

"Tell me what you think it is…?" Goku looks at it for a while. His eyes getting bigger, trying to figure out what to say…doesn't really take a genius.

"Pork" Of course next one.

"Sea Bass" So he does eat sea food…I made a new discovery. Next one.

"Ramen Noodles" I blinked a bit trying my best to keep a straight face. Next page.

Hang on where is it anyway? I look back to see Goku chewing the paper as he ripped a bit off and spat it out unto the floor. I reached my hand over and grabbed it off him.

"Please Goku reframe from eating the paper…" rights now take the one that isn't chewed and show it to him.

"And this one…." Goku looked at it, and then his eyes went huge. I looked at him for a bit, Goku then let out a big scared scream.

""_AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH DUST BUNNIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!_"

I took the page and looked at it seeing the all the plots of black paint forming into a bunny rabbit. I sighed as I scrambled it and chucked it at the bin. Take other and show it to him.

"And this one Goku?" Goku's eyes went even wider as he screamed even louder than he had before. I look at the page and see the plots of paint forming a dust bunny with a hideous face that seems to be trying to kick Goku right where it hurts. Oh that isn't good. I scrambled it again and threw it away as I took up another one. He observed it then screamed even louder as he jumped off the chair and ran out the door.

I look at the page to see another bunny stabbing Goku over and over again. I frown at the paper then made a frowning expression.

"Oh come on…"

**Hakkai's turn**

"Right Hakkai tell me the first thing that comes into your brain…" Hakkai looked at the page that I lifted then smiled as he replied.

"Tea" Right, next one

"Cookies" hmmm? Next one

Then he went all teary eyed as his eyes went big and began to glitter.

"The pistol I lost when I was nine…" huh?

"Oh how I remembered it well…it happened on a bright sunny Sunday morning as it was past Sunday school and I was in my room enjoying the qualities of a book until I found this key in my room…so I took it and found this safe as I removed the lock I found this pistol and so I decided to tell the head Nun about it when I returned it was gone…like it grew legs and ran away…"

I continued to listen to Hakkai's babbling hoping at anytime he would stop.

"I searched all over the place day and night…until I realized it belonged to the head priest who was living there I decided to make it up to him with an old fashioned tradition…playing mahjong or the occasional limbo so Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah…"

Okay this might take a while.

**Back to Sanzo**

"Listen lets just accept the fact that you are an idiotic person who has no idea what the hell your doing…may I mention that you look terrible in that white lab coat…and why did you tie your hair back you look like a complete tart I mean your ugly as it is enough…"

I frowned at him "Sanzo just answer the question…did you or did you not take Phillip's Spanish dictionary!"

"_No, no I didn't I don't even want to know how to speak the stupid language anyway! You bastado_!" I glared at him realizing that he is now speaking Spanish.

"Sanzo que color mi un chaqueta?" Sanzo glared at me angrily.

"_Tu un chaqueta es en blanco!_ Agh!" Sanzo then went completely pale as I smirked at him.

"Never wanted to learn Spanish huh?"

**Gojyo Again**

"_WHY WON'T YOU HUG ME!_" he screamed as he smacked the locker door that I had locked myself into. I peeked out of the key hole to see that he was still dressed in that ridiculous costume.

"Well let's see…A. I'm not the most touchable person and B. I just don't go all mushy like that especially when you've gone insane and are pummeling the door with a _magic wand!_" The slams continue as each one gets more and louder.

"_HUG ME_"

"_NO!_"

"_HUG ME_"

"_NEVER_"

"_I'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU ALONE UNTIL YOU DO!"_

"_I have all the time in the world!"_

**Poor little Goku**

I finally found Goku he was shivering in a corner cuddling his little knees to his chest muttering over and over that the dust bunnies were coming to get him and all. I sat there and held him in my hand rubbing his little back to comfort him.

"There…there Goku…there are no such things as dust bunnies…"

Goku perked his little head up and looked at me with a tear about to dribble down his face.

"What about Mr. Bunny?"

I'm still trying to figure out if the Mr. Bunny's possessed or was brought back to life by Nii and his demented science.

"Now Mr. Bunny is a different story…"

"In what way?" I knew I had to make something up but what then a certain thought came into mind. I smiled at him with my eyes closed as I sweated a bit…embarrassed with what I'm going to say next…

"Well Mr. Bunny is not technically a bunny…"

"What is he then?"

"He's a magical fairy from the land of chocolate and fuzzy teddy bears…"

**Hakkai again**

"And you see I resolved that day by making the priest a home cooked meal…sadly he was taken to hospital because of food poisoning…but I ended that day with a cup of tea and a cookie…"

"Well that's interesting Hakkai…" am I kidding this was insane

"Now let me tell you the time when I did something to our footballs team mascot…which was really adorable it was this small little lobster…" why on earth would they have a lobster in an orphanage…then again why did the orphanage have a football team…

I tried to say something but Hakkai just went babbling on and on.

"You see it happened on a joyous Monday when we were going to go against the nun's in the other orphanage most of them were very nice young ladies…it was my turn to look after our lobster…Mr. Tickles…" wait did he just say that they call their lobster Mr. Tickles?

"Um Hakkai…"

"You see I left Mr. Tickles in a bucket with hot boiling water which was past 180 degrees…which you could imagine what happened next…" All of a sudden I'm guessing that Hakkai's childhood must've been very interesting.

"When I came back Mr. Tickles was sizzling he was completely cooked so..."

**Sanzo Again**

"Fine…here's your brother's stupid porno magazines!" he yelled as he took out a giant magazine much bigger than him and chucked it on the table. I glared at him angrily.

"Is that all!" Sanzo mumbled as he took out a couple of rings, a doll, some more pictures of Mittens, my brothers CD's, my Manga comic's…so on so forth.

I'm actually quite impressed that he could stuff so many things in that tiny robe he's wearing.

"What have you the entire arsenal of Germany?" Sanzo glared at me and continued to remove many more items out of his robes. A mace, a tiny sword, three forks, a jackal lantern, my pictures to Manchester… huh!

"Hey I was wondering where these went…"

"Oh yeah I was bored so I decided to keep them for future references…I could always sell these pictures on EBay…" What…

**Gojyo still at it**

I just escaped from the locker and am now continuing to run down the hallway as Gojyo continues to follow me…he's flying believe it or not.

Damn those wings that comes with that Fairies costume! And damn the creator of fairies. I mean what's so important about them anyway?

I looked behind me to see that Gojyo is still in pursuit flapping his little fairy wings as he laughed evilly I stopped and brought out a swatter for swatting flies. Time for action.

I waved the swatter round until I finally whacked Gojyo as he fell into my hands I looked at him for a second as he regained consciousness. He looks down seeing the fairy costume then looked up at me innocently.

"Why the fuck am I wearing this fairy costume?" I sighed in relief as I cuddled him close to me. Oh sugar I didn't just did that did I?

**An Interesting legend**

"And you see Goku that's why Mr. Bunny doesn't talk so much nowadays…" Goku looked at me with disbelief written on his face.

"So let me get this straight…Mr. Bunny is not a bunny at all but a fairy from the land of Chocolate and fuzzy teddies which resides on the planet Mars…after a great battle between the fairies and the evil Chibi's of doom…Mr. Bunny is stranded on our planet and is reduced to selling chocolate to all those hungry children to cure world hunger and lost his voice while crashing head on into an elephant that was crossing the road in a hurry to get to an elephants trumpet competition…" I sweated as he explained the whole thing.

"Exactly Goku"

What it was the only things I can come up with okay…you try explaining it to him!

**A Hakkai's Tale**

"So at the end of the day we all enjoyed lobster for dinner…although half of us ended up in hospital because of food poisoning…"

I sat there shocked and terrified at what I just heard I smiled gently.

"How interesting Hakkai…very interesting…"

"Oh how about I tell you the time when I accidentally set fire to the orphanage it all started on a wonderful Saturday morning as the birds were singing their memorizing chorus' followed by the sunny rays that went through my window…"

"Agh no, no, no need for that Hakkai you've told me so much I can't let you do that…"

"Why not it's so interesting…"

"Another time maybe Hakkai…"

Did I say another time I meant never…

**End**

**Sanzo's Guardian Angel: **I decided to do something like this. If you like it please review.


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